Friday 22 Nov - end of school classes

Finally, it's the last day for my Yr 10 and Yr 11 class. I get Yr 11 back next year as Yr 12, which is great - they are two boys whom I enjoy very much. I also have the Yr 12 IB EE group next year. Yr 10 is a very different story. That class almost undid me. Individually they are mostly pleasant kids, but on the whole, I have hated the combination, especially of Indian boys and their stupid 'bro' stuff. Turns out that Samar is the best, not Alan although he has his appeal. Josh, Jaxon, Dex, Harjas, Guransh, were without doubt the worst. Harjas showed some hope at the end for being quite bright. Josh has his writing skills but the others are so immature. Yaseen is a real sweetie. I am glad to be rid of all of them. I cannot do another Yr 10 class. I believe next year will be my last to take teaching seriously. I mean, I expect to do 3 days a week thereafter, with 4 days a week on 2025, but never will I take senior work seriously again, after the Yr 12 I have next year. I hope to have juniors which I can safely not care mush about and still get paid. I was told by a DP that the results in junior sec don't matter much, and that their papers are only kept for one year. After that, no one cares until they get into senior where exams are externally monitored. Great - I will keep em busy but not give a shot. So sick of the whole bullshit game. But I need to be paid so I will nod sagely, and carry on my way. Another thing that pissed me off this year was a student in my Yr 10 Englsh class (who is lovely, but in no way an 'A' student) has received an award for 'English' this year - that I did not give! I wasn't consulted or advised. It's ridiculous. The school runs on it's own rules, we are there to be warm bodies in front of classes, and not much else matters. Okay, so I'll go and get paid and my care factor is almost zero. I am so out of sorts, angry, hating my life, house, garden, tired and wanting nothing to do with my family. I want to sleep all the time. Maybe I am sick? I want to sell my house and move elsewhere. Photos of my babies to keep me sweet.

This last one I sent to Mum yesterday. I am just not speaking with her much. It's best for me to keep my distance from her.